Dr. Shruti Shankar Gaur

“Mom, you are cheap, but I am expensive.” I heard my daughter say as we negotiated, while shopping.

She for sure is, but am I…? 

Thus, in this blog, I plan to understand the kind of buyer I am. Kindly bear with me as I explore my perspectives and choices.

I am a millennial Indian. That means my childhood involved wearing hand-woven frocks and sweaters, beautifully crafted by my mother, a master craftswoman. My middle class upbringing focussed on education more than the material wealth. Simple living and high thinking was the motto in those days. The Indian market opened in 1992, but globalisation reached me only after 2000. And that too, very slowly.

I still don’t understand brands. I strongly feel that the brand value is basically a perceived value. The higher the snob value, the crazier we become as consumers. And undoubtedly, consumer behaviour is psychologically manipulated today. How else do we justify, the obnoxiously high price of a product just because it has a logo attached to it?

My motto is simple: clothes or objects shouldn’t define me; I should be able to define them. Irrespective of what I wear or carry, it’s my personality that adds value, not the other way around. It’s our confidence (some call it aura) that should shine beyond material things. I’m still appalled by the craze for makeup brands like Sephora among teenage girls (mine included). You got it wrong, gurl… phew!

This doesn’t mean I don’t shop or splurge; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m embarrassed to admit, the number of footwear, bags, clothes, books, gadgets and accessories I own. Thinking aloud, I realise I love range and variety. I have plenty of everything I love, and I keep mixing and matching. I love looking beautiful. I know, I’m being a girl. (Well, girls always remain girls; remember that!)

I’m a quick shopper; I don’t take long to decide. In fact, I rarely go shopping for myself, I actually find it a of a waste of time. Usually, I end up picking things I like (I instantly know what I want) while shopping for my daughters, husband, or in-laws. You guessed it, everyone loves taking me along (yes, I’m totally self-appraising here!) because I’m patient, honest, and let everyone make their own choices while offering support. (Now, shopping with teenagers that’s a whole different story. Don’t even get me started!)

I remember reading somewhere that there’s a link between self-image and how much one is willing to splurge on self. People with a poor self-image often feel uncomfortable investing on themselves. So, does not being crazy about brands say something about my self-esteem? Maybe that’s what my daughter meant. Is our self-esteem truly connected to our buying behaviour, or is that just a clever marketing tactic? I’m still not convinced. 

But I know myself. I buy what I love – brand or no brand. I can’t resist buying a book (even if I have too many in my TBR). I’ll buy a course in a heartbeat (I have spent so much money there). Footwear is my weakness, and I love jewellery. Oh, I can open a shop with what I own! (And yes, it’s all junk.) I’m strangely not a gold or diamond person. The perceived value makes those yellow metals and shiny stones, glitter more in our eyes, doesn’t it?

I would say my needs are simpler but my daughter would address them as cheaper. It can be because I work from home most of the time. There’s no one to judge me. I can wear pyjama all day long. I don’t have friends to impress or colleagues to show off to. But whenever it felt right (or justified), I’ve bought plenty of expensive stuff too! And if I know myself correctly, I love myself so much that the poor self-image theory doesn’t apply. 

I love shopping, for sure. Yet, I wouldn’t waste a day on it, just for the sake of it. Then, what kind of a buyer am I?

• Sustainability-loving: Not quite there yet.
  
• Minimalist: Very far from it.
  
• Frugal: Definitely not, by any definition.
  
• Extravagant: Nah, I wouldn’t say that either.

I believe, I enjoy my freedom as a buyer. Abundance is the freedom to buy what I want, when I wish to, without social guilt or pressure. By this definition, I’m already living an abundant life.

I am an abundant buyer. 

To put it simply, Capitalism hasn’t quite managed to lure me in yet;

I’m still protected and blissfully content in my own space.